Saturday--Beware, this is a long post....

Brunch: low carb Mac and Cheese, coffee
Dinner:  veggie beef stew and flax bread
Snack:
Activity:
Mini Goals For Today:

1. Start cleaning the garage
2. Really focus on getting my water in
3. grocery shopping (today or tomorrow)
4. Pick up the living room and kitchen
5. Stretch out really well
6. Teeth whitening strips
7. bubble bath (Amanda, you've got to shave your legs for goodness sake)
8. Study a little bit
9. Try a new recipe

Yesterday I ate A LOT of crap.  Today's a new day though.  Going to make sure to get my activity in today (I've not been doing so well the past couple of days).  I've decided that I really should take my lunch every day because if I don't I make really bad choices, like eating cookies for dessert.  If I bring my lunch, I am always satisfied and happy with it and feel proud of myself for eating so healthy.  I think yesterday was some emotional eating for sure...not sure what had me "upset" though, but I ate two cookies at lunch, a pack of pop tarts from the vending machine (this is what I am most ashamed of) and then went out to eat last night and couldn't pass up the sopapilla (my reasoning was "it's free," even though I was stuffed).  I'm trying really hard to not feel guilty about this eating, but I do and that just makes it worse.  Even when I decided to go for the pop tarts yesterday, I KNEW it was not because I was hungry, but because I was emotionally eating......yet I still ate them.  Definitely a "binge" type eating (which I even recognized while scarfing them down).  It's like I get this mind set of "who cares about all the hard work I've done the past 4 weeks? Not me!" when I am like that.  Then that attitude continues, as in this morning when I had mac and cheese for breakfast (not terrible, but definitely not a very acceptable breakfast).  I wonder if maybe I was "emotional" because I hadn't worked out in two days?  I know when I work out, I definitely eat a ton better!  I don't know, but I sure wish I could stop with the pop-tart binging that I do every couple of months.

Ok, so I feel like I need to make this post more positive or my sour mood will continue.  Here are the positives that have been happening:

• I can definitely feel my body changing.  My legs are really firm (curse you repeated squats) and I am developing some "guns."  James even commented yesterday, "Wow, you've got some definite back muscles!" (I suppose this is a good thing!) 
• Clothes fit better.  While my number on the scale is variable (It was down 4 pounds the other day, only to be back at its usual range the next day....haha), my measurements have decreased overall.  I do think I have built some muscle, so I do think that is why the scale isn't really changing.  
• I really, really, really, love winter squash.  Acorn and Butternut.  Who knew squash could taste good???  Three or four years ago I wouldn't have dared to try either one!!  I always assumed that a squash is a squash is a squash and that they would all taste like yellow summer squash or zucchini, neither of which I really love.  
• I think in general, I've really started accepting some of the things I didn't like before.  I'm currently embracing my pale, freckly side rather than covering it up with fake tanner (which I've done for SO long).  I really like that the pale red heads are popular in movies/tv right now (I love Emma Stone) and am trying to embrace that side.  I'm trying to get back to being "girly" and enjoying clothes a bit more, which during medical school has really fallen to the wayside (I'd much rather wear scrubs).  Just in general I've been taking better care of myself as a whole, and I think that my body and mind really appreciate it.